There are times when it seems easier to strike off on a journey all by yourself. Without others to consider, it can be easier to take risks. Without having to get buy in from a board or investors, it can be faster to invest. But there can be dangers to this singular approach.
“Entrepreneurs have a natural inclination to go it alone. While this do-it-yourself spirit can help you move forward, adding an element of collaboration into the mix can make you unstoppable.” — Leah Busque
Are you able to discern when you are in the middle of overcoming challenges? Do you know how to detect strength or capacity building as it is happening? Defining the contrast between where you’ve been and when you’ve learned?
It’s sometimes difficult to determine these boundaries and thresholds, especially if you are an entrepreneur or just starting out on a figurative journey. Lone wolf syndrome can be both boon and bane. There’s an African saying, paraphrased that goes, “If you wish to go somewhere fast, go alone; if you wish to go far, travel together.”
The problem (by way of both utility and reality), is that for many of us, traveling alone is faster at first when we are striking off into the unknown. It’s easier in some ways, because we are guided by our vision. Naysayers (well-intentioned and otherwise), can be like drag trunks on Michael Phelps—they’re dead weight.
When we don’t have to factor the opinions of others, decisions can be surgical: yes to this; no to that. No one to consult. A good thing, right? Maybe. …and maybe not.
The ‘bane’ or difficulty of the lone wolf approach is not having a benchmark from which to measure. Moreover, knowing what to measure is also a challenge in and of itself. That’s where, eventually, smart people seek to incorporate the wisdom of others who have successfully navigated the path they themselves hope to travel.
Someone to consult. Collaborators. Mentors. Mirrors.
Related: A question for the parents who may be reading this, when your children were toddlers, you’re probably familiar with the concept of a meltdown, yes? These random temper tantrums could descend at any time, for any (or no apparent) reason. Bewildered, you would fumble around to check for anything that could be causing pain or distress to your child in an effort to soothe them. Car seat poking? Hungry? Messy diaper? Tired?
Once you determined the source of distress, you handled the issue and moved on. Years later, while strolling down an aisle at the grocers when overhearing the tell-tale sound of a cranky toddler, you would think to yourself, “Ah ha! Someone needs a nap. That kid is five minutes away from a meltdown.”
Without realizing it, you had assimilated the challenge of parenting, absorbed the lesson, adapted and moved on.
From a life path perspective, are there any meltdowns currently happening in your experience? Some of the symptoms may be cash flow problems, relationship issues, time management challenges…any number of things. The key is to learn how to identify whatever issue is causing you the most stress.
Once named, you can begin to deconstruct it and reach out to the network you’ve established to help keep you moving forward. This is where the “traveling together” from the aforementioned proverb applies. To begin, ask yourself any or all of the following:
• What about my current experience is overwhelming me?
• What are the tasks I put off or procrastinate in completing?
• Where are my bottlenecks in the process?
• Who do I know and trust who has overcome this challenge?
• What would I need to do or change in order to meet this challenge?
The above are pain points that, once attended and resolved, are going to transform you into a more independent and successful person.
Detecting the challenge while in the midst of it is difficult at best. Most of the time, we are spending so much time with our heads down, blinders on, and at full throttle in an effort to overcome our challenges that we don’t stop to determine how to resolve challenges.
If you find that you are spinning your wheels or coming back to face the same challenge repeatedly, take the hint. Take some time and focus on a few things:
1. Where you’ve been.
2. Where you are.
3. Where you want to be.
Write it down. Take a breath. Use a combination of the wisdom you’ve gained with the input from your network and begin again.
You’ll get there.
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