There are so many entry points for me to talk about what International Women’s Day means to me. — As a former single mother on welfare, I could talk about the wage gap, inadequate child care resources, unequal opportunities at various places of work, the poverty trap built into the welfare system and the way it disincentivizes people from trying to better their circumstances. — As a woman who has experienced sexual harassment at work, in dating situations and while…..
In honor of Random Acts of Kindness Day, today I’ll share a few ways you can show kindness in your every day life. At their essence, manners are the recognition and respect of self in other. When we use good manners, we are actually acknowledging our own worthiness of being treated well and with respect. In so saying, I of course realize that not everyone practices good manners. There are many rude (and psychologically wounded) people walking the planet. Whenever…..
My mom died on January 27, 2020. Grief is a strange experience. Grief is also NOT linear. Even though she has been gone for three years, there are still memories of her that appear at random times, popping to the top of my consciousness like errant butterflies flitting across a garden full of flowers waving in the breeze. That’s her in the picture—the brunette nestled next to her dad. She was the elder of two “oops babies” that arrived when…..
What kind of cook are you? The “measure-y, by the book” sort or the stir, sniff and sample sort? For what it’s worth, I think that not only does each approach have merit, but there are certain times when it pays to err on the side of the extreme of either. When I was a little girl, I used to perch on a stool in my grandma’s kitchen and watch as she cooked dinner for us. My knees drawn up…..
How many of you are good at giving compliments? How many of you are good at graciously accepting them? If you’re like most people, it’s easier for you to give a compliment than it is to receive one. Know this: when you minimize or refuse to accept a compliment, you are insulting the giver and telling yourself that you are not worthy. Am I being harsh? Nope. As a writer, I love words. I love how words convey meaning, mood…..
The picture is of me and my younger brother at Thanksgiving in the early 1970s. As I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts, we moved in with my grandmother after my mom and dad divorced. I had 24 cousins on my mom’s side, and so our Irish Catholic family usually had about 40 people gathered on the major holidays (our year revolved around the pivot points of Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas). We had an Adult Table, populated by my aunts, uncles,…..
Now that the temperature is beginning to drop into the 40s, I make sure to get at least five miles in during walks around my neighborhood while it’s still relatively warm. Winters in Chicago are usually pretty soul crushing and claustrophobic, but the pandemic has ratcheted my despair levels to eleven. During my walks, I encounter families, dogs, hipsters, teenagers and other people like me who enjoy stretching their legs for some exercise. There are those I encounter regularly, as…..
When I first moved to Chicago, I tried online dating. It had been an effective method of meeting people in years prior (generating a husband, who is now an ex), so I felt comfortable using the internet once again to search for my next boyfriend-potential-husband. The sheer population difference of a metro area the size of Chicago in comparison to where I had lived in Iowa meant that I had a chance to meet not only a larger number of…..
If you’ve been staying in and self-isolating during the pandemic, first of all: thank you. When we are asked to do something to help, most of us look to the grand or sweeping gestures, the BIG sacrifices to make a difference. During this extremely stressful time, we are asked to be still. Being still is difficult for me. My grandmother used to call me the Dutch Cleanser Girl (it’s an advertising reference to a powdered cleanser that had a similar…..
I have news for you perfectionists out there: You’re going to fail. You’re going to disappoint someone. You’re going to get something all wrong. …And you’re going to learn and move on. At these “failure junctions” in your life, you will lose friends. Your network will change. It is supposed to. Through the learning of your lesson, your polarity will change, and you will fall out of alignment with some of your friends (maybe even family). This changing polarity will…..