Doing something new requires being willing to be bad at something until you become skilled at it. It requires humility and a willingness to fail forward. If you’ve paid attention to your life’s journey, chances are good you’ve experienced plenty of versions of yourself, and have been resurrected from the ashes of various trials and tribulations to get where (and be who) you are now.
“It is not more surprising to be born twice than once; everything in nature is resurrection.” —Voltaire
How many life phases can you recall?
Whether through having children, losing loved ones through death, changing jobs, divorcing spouses, getting married, dropping bad habits or cultivating healthier ones, our lives are always in a state of renewal and flux. Our forward progress hinges upon our ability to recognize our stages of development; therefore, mindfulness and awareness of our choices is essential if we wish to live fulfilling lives.
After each life shift of my own, I can upon retrospect, always see the progression of destruction to creation. Only recently have I been able to sense The Chaos portion, or what has also been referred to as The Middle.
The Middle is where we are tested and where circumstances force us to distill what it is we truly want. Furthermore, The Middle is also where we decide with ourselves how much we really want something. To state the obvious: without experiencing The Middle, we would never reach The End.
Full disclosure: The Middle drives me bonkers. I always want to fast forward through this part. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. I’m in The Middle. Next!” But that’s not how growth works.
“Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.” —Menachem Mendel Schneerson
In an overlay of non-linear time constructs superimposed against the way we measure our years, our birthday serves as an ready-made opportunity for reflection, discernment and focus. Technically, we have this opportunity 365 days of the year, but for whatever reason, it’s sometimes easier to use traditional days to mark the occasion to take stock of our lives.
• Have we achieved what we set out to do?
• Did we learn anything over the year prior?
• What did we gain?
• What did we lose?
• How did we add to another’s life?
• Where did we pave the way for someone else?
• Who helped us along the way?
It has been said that “age ain’t nothin’ but a number,” with Satchel Paige’s quote, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?” being a variation of the same sentiment.
I love contemplating the concept of chronological age, because it represents an arbitrary yardstick, but it’s not really the most accurate way to measure the impact or length of our lives. Our Shell changes over time: perhaps some wrinkles here, and sagging there. But the Soul itself is ageless and eternal. Curiosity and creativity flexes what it is that we perceive ourselves to be and challenges our assumptions of what we can become.
“I don’t believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.”—T.S. Eliot
This is the converse of Mr. Paige’s quote. Atrophy and stagnation lead to death. Use it or lose it, baby. Whether it be our brains or our brawn, mettle or metal, oxidation and non-use means that we cease to become vibrant and begin to wither.
How can we tell if we are living a static existence? Take a moment and review a few indicators. How many of these resonate or apply to you?
• When is the last time you ate something different or went to a new restaurant?
• How many new friends have you met over the year prior?
• Take a look at your tape deck — are they recordings by your favorite bands from high school?
• Do you have a tape deck? That’s a biggie. Have you heard of Pandora?
• How many times do you say “no” throughout the day? Why?
• Do you recall the past often?
“The other day a man asked me what I thought was the best time of life. ‘Why,’ I answered without a thought, ‘now.’”— David Grayson
While it’s completely understandable to have high points in our memory, ideally, these moments are to be incorporated into your Whole and assimilated into who you are today—right now. Our thoughts create our next moment, and the next. By focusing on what we have, the utility of same and how best to leverage it, we put ourselves in the best possible position for creating wonderful things in our life.
On the off chance that you’re going through something particularly crappy right now, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What is the best thing about this crappy situation?” Take note of the answer. It is the seed of your solution.
Welcome to your birthday.
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