Twelve years ago, it was a day like any other: I was hip deep in performing a competitive analysis for a client, determining their place in the social media landscape… checking sentiment ratios, analytics from their site and other digital minutiae … when I was called into the agency principal’s office at 11:30 a.m. The president of the firm was blessedly direct when he said to me: “I have to let you go. I feel terrible about this, because you are doing a great job. You are doing exactly what you said you could do, but because we’ve lost this major client, I have to do what’s best for the long-term financial health of the firm.”
Twelve years ago, on Friday, August the 13th, I, along with three of my colleagues, found myself out of a job, just like that. In response, I immediately called three people: my media brain friend, my pragmatic cheerleader friend and the late Liz Strauss.
“Genuine beginnings begin within us, even when they are brought to our attention by external opportunities.” — William Bridges
I had talked with Liz about the concepts of a nonprofit that I had been thinking about establishing at her social media conference, SOBCon, which I had attended just a few months’ prior. Her response when I told her of my job loss? “Good! Now you can blog for me.” In the same way that she counseled her clients, Liz had got my tumblers clicking during our subsequent conversations.
• How could I make the organization a reality?
• What problem could I solve through creating a nonprofit of this sort?
• Who would I serve?
• Who would benefit?
• What was my value proposition?
• How was I going to shape our messaging?
• What type of brand voice would we have?
The answers to these and other questions would form the basis of my new life.
By leveraging the skills forged in my decades of media, journalism and public speaking, I would create the organization that would emancipate women economically. But it wasn’t easy, and it took longer than I thought it would. But I’m getting ahead of myself…
“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.” — T. S. Eliot
I don’t know about you, but my ends are usually pretty stark. I don’t know if that’s because I’m obtuse, stubborn or just don’t like change, but each of my beginnings has as its demarcation a really apparent end. Such was the case with my leaving the agency.
That said, my discussions with Liz regarding the nonprofit which predated my dismissal provided me with the seeds of my salvation. It’s a fact that there is ALWAYS a silver lining in each cloud and no great loss without some small gain. Our job is to pay attention to our opportunities for growth, even when they (especially when?) they are cloaked in pain.
Over the course of the years, I have since published a book, completed a life training certification, moved to a major international city and begun an entirely new life path at the age of 53. I continue to refine and align my identity and purpose—keeping what strengthens me and discarding that which no longer serves me.
“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” — Bernice Johnson Reagon
For one thing, I believe wholeheartedly that we are never presented with anything too big for us to handle. If we have the ability to recognize the challenge, then we have the capacity to overcome it. Our challenge lies with identifying the skill within ourselves that we have allowed to remain dormant or underdeveloped that will provide the means of our transition.
One of the things that helped me to distill my values and choices was the new economy created by my changing financial reality. Instead of viewing my new budgetary concerns from a viewpoint of scarcity or privation, I began to truly embrace expansiveness and creativity with the resources at hand.
“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” — Alfred D’Souza
Ding. Exactly this.
I understood this quote in theory for quite some time, but over the years, I have come to truly grasp and internalize its meaning. Obstacles are a gift. Uncertainty and obstacles are the threads that form the tapestry of your life.
Being able to see each experience through the lens of the above quote has magnified my life. Embracing uncertainty has paradoxically made me more secure. It reminds me of the Apollo 13 mission and the crew’s use of leveraging gravity and momentum to slingshot their craft around the moon to get home. They employed a tactical use of energy to propel themselves forward from oblivion.
Our lives have ebbs and flows. Ends and beginnings are illusions. Starting over is nothing more than acknowledging The Pause before picking up your “thread” and continuing to weave your own story.
Begin now.
