Today is writer Virginia Woolf”s birthday. Born in Kensington (a London residential district) 140 years ago, her writing remains as relevant today as it was when she first committed her thoughts to paper.
This quote of hers in particular resonates with me as a writer:
“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.” ― Virginia Woolf
Writers are observers, and while some writing can be classified as nonfiction, all writing that has genuine impact has as its foundation the anchor of truth. Sometimes fiction can be even “more real” than nonfiction because the constructs and environments where stories take place may be fantastical, but the subjects and morals of the story are not.
George Orwell’s novel 1984 is one example. While Winston does not exist outside the pages of Orwell’s book, fascism does. The manipulation of media and concentration of power exists.
But more to the point of Woolf’s quote: when we are unable to face our own truths, we are unable to progress as people. We hurt the people in our lives (sometimes inadvertently; sometimes intentionally).
When I was in college, our class performed a sort of a group Venn Diagram experiment. All of us were given two sets of colored papers. On one color, we were instructed to list traits of our own we thought we possessed or displayed. On the other color, we were to list one trait of each person in the class (without signing them). The papers were collected, and each of us was able to see the agreement with or divergence from our own perceptions and those of others about us.
Some people’s assessments were pretty accurate: Their understanding of who they were matched up evenly with the collective’s appraisals. Others’ perceptions of themselves were wildly off base.
There are times in our lives when we experience a relationship with a person I refer to as a Mirror. This individual may be a friend, an enemy, a coworker or a stranger. But this person will cause you to see something in yourself that went previously unrecognized. Sometimes this trait is pleasant. More often than not, it is unpleasant—we tend to be pretty good at cultivating a blind eye to our own flaws.
I have met a few Mirrors in my life. The most recent experience completely dismantled my identity and forced me to redefine who I imagined myself to be. It was extremely painful (and my transformation is ongoing).
My writing is an attempt for me to heed and obey Woolf’s admonition. For something else about honesty in our writing also applies: The truth has velocity and power. When we can represent ourselves honestly in our words, we are imbuing them with a power that can change lives.
If you feel as though your life is misaligned or stalled, I invite you to perform a brief examination of your perceptions of who you imagine yourself to be versus what others see you as. Bringing yourself into alignment can help you move forward.
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