I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Your ability to let go determines your level of success.
Whether positioned as an ability to deal with flux or operate within the theoretical, the essential element that successful, independent people share is an ability to suspend their need to control situations or outcomes and to trust in the process.
Almost every time I think of the phrase “let go,” I am reminded of the whale scene from the Pixar movie, Finding Nemo. Dory the fish, exhorts worry-wart clownfish Marlin to trust her whale-translation abilities as he is desperately clinging to the whale’s tongue while staring down the gaping maw of death.
In this instant, Marlin’s frame of reference is limited to what he knows to be certain—what he can see.
The unknown lies both beyond the mouth of the great beast and the assumed descent into its belly. Marlin is caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.
Hmmmm: Sure death or possible death?
Gee golly—what a decision.
Whale translator Dory implores Marlin to let go. When pressed to tell him what’s going to happen to them, after a moment of consideration, she honestly replies, “I don’t know!”
This is a decision encountered daily when faced with choices of all kinds, from the mundane (What should I have for lunch? Should I wear the plaid or the stripes?) to the weighty (Should I invest in a new business location? Is this the right person for me to be dating/married to?).
When to let go. When to trust the process. When to leave the known and venture into the land of the unknown.
Why do we desperately cling to methodologies and habits that are familiar, even if no longer effective? Why? Why do people cling to the known even in the face of poor response or results? There are many reasons, each of them is valid for each individual involved.
The truth is, we won’t ever understand everyone’s individual perspective or experience. Everyone is on his or her own path.
We can encourage people that it’s time to move on, but when push comes to shove, the adage about leading a horse to water applies. You can’t make the horse drink. …Or start a fitness program …or attend a career-changing conference, …or dump that jerk (s)he’s married to… you get the idea.
People relinquish control when they are good and ready.
However, that being said, stasis is no place to be if you wish to grow, whether in your personal or professional life.
Greek philosopher Heraclitus of Ephesus said, “The only constant is change,” somewhere around 500 B.C., which, if you’re playing along at home, was about 2510 years ago.
Growth can be painful, but remaining stagnant carries its own risks and pain. Take stock of your situation, measure the risks and let go. You could be this close to discovering what’s possible.
The universe is bigger than what you’re clinging to.
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